I am getting married next month, and I am so excited. There are reports circulating that I’ve gone on literally thousands of dates,* and although I didn’t really feel like I was being too picky, I was more in love with being single than I was with any person I dated. Well this year I fell in love with a man whom I have been friends with for more than three years. And life with him (Zach) is much better than the best single life.

We became very close last year when he was going through a divorce and I had to move into a heatless recording studio by myself in the winter. I prayed every day that he would be able to reconcile with his wife; he helped me transport several large loads of furniture and other items to my temporary home. And all during that time, we helped each other study for finals in our Criminal Procedure study group. Sadly, Zach’s divorce became finalized a year ago next week. When we came back the next semester, I had a plan that, looking back, was really kind of silly. My plan was to spend a lot of time with him as his close friend so that he could regain his trust in women. I had no interest in starting even a casual romantic relationship with him. Of course we called our outings dates, but that’s just because Zach is a gentleman. I continued to date other men. Long story short, I started to develop feelings for Zach; he did too. And on June 4, 2011 he proposed to me and I said yes.

This is where the humility comes in…

Because Zach is divorced we needed to get a sealing clearance to get married in the temple. No big deal, I thought. Sure, I wanted to get married soon, but I was willing to wait. He was the perfect man for me. In the fall, our sealing clearance had not come through and we were faced with the difficult decision of having to wait much, much longer or just getting married outside the temple. Our bishops and stake president counseled us to begin our family as soon as we could and then get sealed a year later.Even though the advice was coming from church leaders, thinking about getting married outside the temple made me cry. A lot. I had never imagined getting married anywhere other than the temple and if I was marrying anyone else I would be able to. I watched as a person I dated in the spring found a girlfriend, proposed, and married her all during the time that Zach and I were waiting for clearance. I would plan our wedding online, and invariably stumble upon pictures of excited couples coming out of the temple. That would not be us. Our families were overwhelmingly supportive, which made it a little easier, but I still resisted for months.

One day when I was with Zach, I had an overwhelming feeling about what a wonderful man he is and how privileged I should be to be his wife. It was at that moment that I decided that since I found the right man, it’s time to start our family sooner rather than wait an unknown time period, just so I could have my dream wedding.

It’s still hard. It’s hard sending out invitations to people who don’t know and who think perhaps we cannot enter the temple for other reasons. I even wanted to put a disclaimer on our RSVP website about why I was getting married somewhere else. And it’s hard talking to casual acquaintances and co-workers who hear you’ve served an LDS mission so they assume and say, “So what temple are you getting married in?” And you have to go off on this long monologue of why you’re getting married somewhere else.

This experience has been very humbling to me. It has reinforced my resolve not to judge people. It has helped me understand that we all have circumstances that are not so black and white–that there are many reasons why people do the things they do and say the things they say, but it is not up to us to judge them as good or bad. I will probably judged privately and possibly openly for the rest of my life for this decision. But I am committed to this choice because I have found the perfect person for me. And I would rather marry Zach any time, any place, then marry the wrong person inside the temple.

And on a side note: Zach’s stake president has put in another request for a sealing clearance. If by some miracle it comes through before our wedding date, we will quickly be switching venues to the temple on that date. And instead of the planned ceremony, we’ll probably just have a huge dance party or something. Zach has some pretty sweet moves.

* (Sara starred in a regionally unsuccessful documentary about LDS dating life in which the claim may or may not have been made that she dates a lot. The DVD can be found at Deseret Book, but both Zach and Sara disclaim all liability for its content. It’s a terrible documentary, and you’re better off spending your $15 on stale bread and expired lunch meat.)