We became very close last year when he was going through a divorce and I had to move into a heatless recording studio by myself in the winter. I prayed every day that he would be able to reconcile with his wife; he helped me transport several large loads of furniture and other items to my temporary home. And all during that time, we helped each other study for finals in our Criminal Procedure study group. Sadly, Zach’s divorce became finalized a year ago next week. When we came back the next semester, I had a plan that, looking back, was really kind of silly. My plan was to spend a lot of time with him as his close friend so that he could regain his trust in women. I had no interest in starting even a casual romantic relationship with him. Of course we called our outings dates, but that’s just because Zach is a gentleman. I continued to date other men. Long story short, I started to develop feelings for Zach; he did too. And on June 4, 2011 he proposed to me and I said yes.

This is where the humility comes in…

Because Zach is divorced we needed to get a sealing clearance to get married in the temple. No big deal, I thought. Sure, I wanted to get married soon, but I was willing to wait. He was the perfect man for me. In the fall, our sealing clearance had not come through and we were faced with the difficult decision of having to wait much, much longer or just getting married outside the temple. Our bishops and stake president counseled us to begin our family as soon as we could and then get sealed a year later.Even though the advice was coming from church leaders, thinking about getting married outside the temple made me cry. A lot. I had never imagined getting married anywhere other than the temple and if I was marrying anyone else I would be able to. I watched as a person I dated in the spring found a girlfriend, proposed, and married her all during the time that Zach and I were waiting for clearance. I would plan our wedding online, and invariably stumble upon pictures of excited couples coming out of the temple. That would not be us. Our families were overwhelmingly supportive, which made it a little easier, but I still resisted for months.

One day when I was with Zach, I had an overwhelming feeling about what a wonderful man he is and how privileged I should be to be his wife. It was at that moment that I decided that since I found the right man, it’s time to start our family sooner rather than wait an unknown time period, just so I could have my dream wedding.

It’s still hard. It’s hard sending out invitations to people who don’t know and who think perhaps we cannot enter the temple for other reasons. I even wanted to put a disclaimer on our RSVP website about why I was getting married somewhere else. And it’s hard talking to casual acquaintances and co-workers who hear you’ve served an LDS mission so they assume and say, “So what temple are you getting married in?” And you have to go off on this long monologue of why you’re getting married somewhere else.

This experience has been very humbling to me. It has reinforced my resolve not to judge people. It has helped me understand that we all have circumstances that are not so black and white–that there are many reasons why people do the things they do and say the things they say, but it is not up to us to judge them as good or bad. I will probably judged privately and possibly openly for the rest of my life for this decision. But I am committed to this choice because I have found the perfect person for me. And I would rather marry Zach any time, any place, then marry the wrong person inside the temple.

And on a side note: Zach’s stake president has put in another request for a sealing clearance. If by some miracle it comes through before our wedding date, we will quickly be switching venues to the temple on that date. And instead of the planned ceremony, we’ll probably just have a huge dance party or something. Zach has some pretty sweet moves.

* (Sara starred in a regionally unsuccessful documentary about LDS dating life in which the claim may or may not have been made that she dates a lot. The DVD can be found at Deseret Book, but both Zach and Sara disclaim all liability for its content. It’s a terrible documentary, and you’re better off spending your $15 on stale bread and expired lunch meat.)

The bands were awesome. We’d never seen Wilco before, and they were fantastic. Nashville’s historic Ryman Theater is a great place to see a show, too. The original home of the Grand Ol’ Opry, the Ryman is like a big rock music church, complete with pews. Nick Lowe did a great job opening, and I solidified my place as “guy who knows the bands you don’t” by knowing who Nick Lowe was before the show.

In between the Wilco show and the Arctic Monkeys, we spent our days sleeping and our nights cruising Nashville’s honkey-tonk bars. We made it to the Country Music Hall of Fame (which is way cooler than you’d think it is), where we saw great stuff like this dress worn by Taylor Swift (one of Sara’s favorites).

As great as Nashville’s music scene is, the food is just as awesome. It’s hard to find decent barbecue in a place like Utah, so we took advantage of Nashville’s culinary delights. We also made a few unexpected meal stops for hard-to-find foods such as the chicken livers and spicy wings at Brother Z’s Wang Shack. Yes, Wang Shack.

We finished out the week by catching the Arctic Monkeys at the War Memorial Auditorium. Gentry and I had seen them before, but the show was a first for Seth. As expected, they rocked so hard our faces nigh melted off. I again knew the opening band (the wonderful Smith Westerns), and the show was all around great rock. Don’t believe me? Allow me to present exhibit one, a video I took of them when Gentry and I saw them in Utah:

Nashville is also home to all kinds of great buildings to take pictures of (because who goes on vacation to take pictures of themselves?)

In sum, Nashville is awesome and I can’t wait to revisit it with Sara. But the greatest part of the trip? Getting back home to Sara. The bromance is great, but it can’t compare to this:

And despite the fact that I started to fall in love with Zach in Las Vegas in February, it was not until General Conference in April that I realized how much I wanted to marry him. Zach was sick last general conference so we didn’t get to attend together, but we made up for it this weekend.

I look forward to a whole new lifetime of milestones with this man.

While I was showering, she walked slowly from the kitchen to the living room, where Mr. Pendleton was innocently working on his laptop. I came out for a second and I saw him helping her sit down on the couch right next to him. When I came back later, this is what I saw:

My sister had grabbed Zach’s hand and yanked it onto her lap. Do you see that tight death grip she has on him? Hands off, Jenny. The boy is mine.

On the other hand, I have always had quite extensive dreams of being the primary meal provider for my family. I would wake up early and make an elaborate breakfast for my husband, pack him a delicious lunch with a personalized note, and then have a gourmet meal hot and ready when he comes home–each and every day. The problem is I am not exactly a master chef. So to counteract my culinary deficiencies, I have been practicing a lot lately. Actually I’ve been practicing for awhile now. I occasionally made Zach breakfast, lunch, and dinner while we were dating. He always said he liked it, but you can’t really trust a guy who’s trying to impress a girl. So here are just a few of my culinary concoctions that will probably make their way into the Pendleton dinner repertoire quite frequently.

1. Bowtie Pasta with Asparagus and Sun-dried Tomatoes                                                     I made this dish first when we were dating. The sun-dried (okay, I cheated and dried them in the oven) tomatoes took all night, but it was worth it. I made almost a pound of this dish and Zach’s parents ate all the leftovers. 

2. Jala-Payne-yo Poppers                                                                                                         Okay, that was cheesy. But these jalapenos are so delicious, you could make a meal out of them. If my memory serves me correctly, this is the first non-breakfast food I served Zach when we were dating. It’s essentially jalapeno halves stuffed with cream cheese and topped with cilantro and thick, peppered bacon. 

3. Grilled Portabello                                                                                                                   I may have temporarily decided to become a vegetarian, so I cooked my man some portabello mushrooms instead of a well-seasoned steak. It was pretty good with the avocado-basil mayonnaise that I made from scratch. Mmmm, that stuff was delish. 

4. Roasted Root                                                                                                                    My more delicious vegetarian adventure was this dish. You wouldn’t think that roasted sweet potatoes, carrots, beets, and cauliflower would taste so good, especially as a main dish. Oh but it was. Yes, it was.

5. Spaghetti with Fresh Meatballs                                                                                             What exactly are fresh meatballs, you ask? Well they are meat balls made from the meat of our former family pet, Tuffy. That’s right: my dad’s form of Texas food storage is to keep a stock of cows on hand. When we have too many, we have them humanely slaughtered and then we package their meat and our grandchildren eat it for the next 100 years. It takes the whole Chicken/Pig story to a whole new level.

6. Trechas!                                                                                                                              My Man! As high maintenance as he is in other areas, he is very easy to please in the food department. He loves trechas on fruit. We ate this for lunch one day. Yum! 

If all else fails, I can buy the little angel two Jack-In-The-Box tacos and a bag of mini- churros. I am also open to any new ideas. I’d love delicious, healthy, cheap recipe ideas.

Movies: He loves The Social Network; She loves Hotel Rwanda. But they’ll cuddle up to Kill Bill together.

Food: He lives for Lamb Tikka Masala; She thinks cheese enchiladas are to die for. They’ll both share a plate of Chili’s Chicken Crispers.

Television: He’s watched every episode of Mad Men; She watches 30 Rock reruns. They will cuddle up to Parks and Rec together but mostly because they both love comedian Aziz Ansari.

Books: While he loves reading about wartime friends in White Teeth, she loves reading about hidden enemies in The Count of Monte Cristo. But they both have read Pride and Prejudice multiple times.

Color: Glory be! They agree on a favorite color (You know, the most important test of compatibility). Yellow!

Music: He jams out to The Mountain Goats; The Format (OK, Nate Ruess) speaks to her soul. They both karaoke to Vampire Weekend.

Instruments: He rocks out on guitar; she fiddles on the violin. They play duets together on the piano.

Hate: He passes on bread; she is terrified of dogs. (Okay, but for good reason. See below.) They both are annoyed when people get bro’d out.

Love: Computers are his second love; swimming occupies a part of her heart. They both love each other more.

A couple weeks ago, Zach and I went to San Francisco for Zach’s summer work party. We went to a quiet, warm vineyard in Sonoma Valley. His colleagues and their families were pleasant, and the office manager even offered to call an ordained minister to meet us at the vineyard and marry us right then and there.

We spent the other days sightseeing and being surprisingly cold in San Francisco.

Yes, that is a man walking his iguana in the park. And yes, below is Zach being his adorable self in front of Alcatraz. Man, I am so lucky to have him.